


Jacking it up

by marginaliana



Series: a ficlet for every GT episode [7]
Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF
Genre: Dirty Talk, Episode Related, Established Relationship, M/M, TGT s3 e1, basically smut, car metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 03:38:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19803937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marginaliana/pseuds/marginaliana
Summary: While waiting for Richard to prepare his Dodge Demon for the drag race against James' Exorcist, Jeremy strikes up a conversation with James about car maintenance. Only this is Jeremy, so it's not really about car maintenance.





	Jacking it up

"It's not that I didn't know this was going to take all day," Jeremy said, going down on his haunches at the window of James' Exorcist. "But I didn't realize it was going to take _all day_."

"Your sense of reality is as robust as ever, I see," said James.

"Pah, reality," Jeremy said. "Contains far too many tofus for my taste."

"Someday you're going to find a way to have someone run over by a tofu, and then your triumph will be complete."

"What a brilliant idea," Jeremy said. "I think I smell a challenge in the making."

"Why can't I keep my mouth shut?" James said, but he was smiling his 'quietly happy' smile, the one that Jeremy loved. Six months in and it was still a thrill that he was allowed to bother James whenever he wanted. Not that he hadn't bothered James all the time before, of course, but now he was _allowed_ , which made all the difference.

"How are we going to pass the time?" he asked.

"Well, I don't know about you," said James, "but I've come prepared." He lifted a book from the passenger seat of the Exorcist.

"Of course you have," said Jeremy. "But I'm bored."

"Unsurprising," James said. He settled the book in his lap and flipped it open; the bookmark was crisp and utterly unwrinkled.

"So entertain me."

"Hmmm," said James. "Nope." He looked down, then slid the edge of his thumb under the right hand page in preparation for turning it.

Jeremy pouted. "But I want you to."

"Tragic."

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaames."

"I have another brilliant idea," James said. He didn't look up. "Why don't you go and bother Hammond? That is, after all, the purpose of this exercise."

"Hammond's not as interesting as you," Jeremy said.

This time James _did_ look up, although it was barely long enough to flash Jeremy a smirk. "Of course," he said. "But go and bother him anyway."

Jeremy reluctantly pushed himself to his feet and obeyed. But he didn't get more than four feet in Richard's direction before Phil told him to go away.

"Let him do something interesting first," he said. "I'll get him laying out all the parts and then you can come by and kick them or something."

It was a good point – moreover, it gave Jeremy an excuse to go right back to James.

"Hammond's not ready for me to mess with him yet," he said. "He's still in the preliminaries."

"Mmm, like what?" James said, obviously not particularly interested in the answer.

Jeremy had a flash of inspiration. "Well, I think he's probably going to start with _jacking it_ ," he said.

James' head came up. "He's going to _what_?"

"You know," Jeremy said. "To get it up. To change the tires."

"Ha," said James, but there was the faintest of pink in his cheeks.

"Then he'll have to lube it up. That's essential, don't you think?"

"Jez, I don't want to hear that sort of thing about Hammond," James said repressively; the faint emphasis on _Hammond_ told Jeremy how to change tack.

"I'd do it better, of course," he said. "I wouldn't need to jack it up quite so much. No, I think I'd move pretty quickly onto lubing up the nuts. You know, get them nice and slick."

James' flush was beginning to spread down the side of his neck. His hands gripped the edges of the book just slightly tighter.

"I might have to go over them a couple of times," Jeremy said. "To be thorough. I know you understand the importance of attention to detail." James did love thoroughness, loved to be touched and caressed, loved the long sweep of Jeremy's hands down his back, over his arse, into the soft dark places between his thighs. Jeremy loved it, too, not because he was thorough but because he was greedy. "Then I'd get them off – the wheels – slowly. Twisting my wrist around, gripping firmly but not too tight."

James' breath had sped up and he wasn't even pretending to read now. "Then what?" he asked. "If you've got them off."

"Hmm. I'd better go check about the next step," Jeremy said, pushing himself up from his squat. He wasn't about to let James go without at least a little teasing; besides, he needed a moment to calm down himself.

He sauntered back to Richard's side of the track, and this time Phil didn't interrupt. Richard was actually working on the wheel nuts now.

"What are you two talking about?" Richard said with a grunt. "Criticizing my technique? I heard something about how you wouldn't have jacked it up so high. Too much work, I'm sure, given that you've never done a lick of work in your life."

_I've done quite a bit of licking work, does that count?_ Jeremy thought, but managed not to say it. "Unfortunately I have no work to do right now, because I've got to stand here watching you knit yourself new tires."

"Piss _off_."

Jeremy contemplated irritating him a bit more, but the prospect of teasing James was even better. He went back.

"What is it now?" James asked. The blush had faded. He pointedly turned a page.

"A bit of fresh rubber," Jeremy drawled. "You need a lot of rubber to cover one of those big… thick… tires."

James coughed, going red again, but he recovered quickly. "I'm not sure that your tire is quite as thick as you're suggesting."

"Oi! Don't you go insulting my, er, tire."

"A bit sensitive?" James raised an eyebrow. 

Jeremy fought the urge to pout. "Just putting the record straight, that's all."

"The record," said James, "is not straight. The record, if I recall, is curved slightly to the left."

Christ, that was a thought – that James had been thinking about his cock enough to remember that. Jeremy wondered if he'd ever be able to change a tire without thinking of this moment. He swallowed. "Slander," he said, which made no sense at all.

"I'm quite sure of myself," said James. "But if you disagree, perhaps you'd better go and check the angle… of the tires."

"Oh, I suppose." 

Jeremy turned away, but he had to take a moment to calm his heartbeat before he could go over to Richard. It was just bloody typical of James to turn Jeremy's game back on him. Typical, and sexy as hell.

At least the sight of Richard maneuvering his fourth gigantic tire was enough to lower Jeremy's arousal and raise his amusement all at once. He strolled over.

"How's it coming?"

"I can hear you over there, you know," Richard said. "Muttering about my mis-aligned tires. Of course I'm going to check the balance before I'm done!"

"I'm just worried that you've jacked them up too high for you to reach."

"Ha."

"Or that you might get oil on your head. Although come to think of it, that might save you some money on hair dye."

"I have not— argh!"

Jeremy grinned. 

"Phil!" Richard called. "Can't you tell him to go away?"

"He is literally paid to annoy you, Hammond," said Phil from behind the camera.

"And why did I agree to that again?"

"A chance at reciprocity, plus he has far more things that you can take the piss about."

"… Fair enough," said Richard.

"And now that you've accepted the wisdom of your own prior decisions, I'm afraid I must insist that we return to the narrative," said Phil. 

Jeremy sighed. "Right, yes, I'll come in again."

He was acutely aware of James sitting in the Exorcist, watching (or perhaps not) as he and Richard went through things, with Jeremy pretending not to know how long this was going to take and Richard pretending to be completely delighted about the work. Then Phil sent him off again, and Jeremy went back to his favorite pastime. 

"Mmm?" James asked, raising his head.

"Now that the rubber's on," Jeremy said, "I think it's time to start plugging things in."

James swallowed. "Plugging things in?"

"Well, one thing," Jeremy said. "It just has to go in the right spot. That could take a while. Easing it in slowly, pulling it out again. Pushing in, trying to find the right angle. In and out, in… and out." James' breathing had noticeably sped up. "Waiting for the moment when you find that perfect fit, the meeting of body and body." This was pushing the car rebuilding metaphor pretty far, Jeremy knew, but he could hardly care about that when James was biting his bottom lip just so. "Yes, that might take a while. All day, even. All night."

James closed his book abruptly and set it down into the passenger seat. "I need a slash," he said. "I suspect you do, too. The toilets are all the way back over there in the building."

He got out, not giving Jeremy much time to get out of the way, and caught the eye of their nearby minder. "Just taking a toilet break, Kari," he said. "Given that Hammond is still going."

"I'd better go, too," Jeremy said. 

"Sure, sure," Kari said, leafing through the papers on her clipboard.

James maintained a reasonable meandering speed as they walked across the open track, but they were barely out of sight inside the garage when he turned, grabbing Jeremy's arm and shoving him against the concrete wall.

"You," he said, leaning in. "You unutterable tease." Each word was punctuated with a fast, hard kiss. Jeremy strained forward, trying for a proper one, but James was too strong for him. "You—"

"You like it when I tease," Jeremy said.

James leaned in, tilting Jeremy's head aside with his own so that he could lick up the side of his neck, bite down not quite hard enough. "I do," he said. "But not when I'll have a maximum of three seconds to recover before there's a camera on me."

"I could make things easier now," Jeremy suggested. "For both of us."

"Oh no," said James. "Not here. You'll have to wait til we get back to the hotel."

"Jaaames…" Jeremy pouted. "I'm all worked up."

"You've no one to blame but yourself," James said, releasing Jeremy and taking a step back. Jeremy reached for him halfheartedly, but James shook his head, smiling fondly, and Jeremy gave up. He hadn't really thought he'd manage to get a shag during a shoot, but he'd certainly enjoyed trying.

"Oh, all right," he said. "But I'm still bored. Let's go back and do something other than just waiting. Almost anything should fit."

James hummed in agreement. "All right. I might even have something suitable."

* * *

The crew hauled out a table from one of the back rooms and James produced a pack of cards, and the two of them played poker for a while, on camera and off. James was up £50 by the time Richard had finished his next step and it was time to return to working: James back in the Exorcist being incredulous, Richard fiddling with the car and being delighted, Jeremy going back and forth (and back and forth, and back and forth). By the end of the shoot Jeremy was fairly confident that he'd be happy with the film, and even more confident that he was about to explode from sexual frustration.

He managed to last through the rest of the afternoon, dinner, and a drink at the bar before he succumbed to temptation and gave James the eyebrow. James smirked at him and announced that he was calling it a night.

For the sake of discretion, Jeremy waited twenty minutes before doing the same. But he couldn't be bothered to pretend to go to his own room, and headed straight for James' instead, knocking quietly. The door opened immediately. 

"Lubing the nuts, Jez?" said James as he shut the door. He was grinning.

"I was doing my best with the material I had!"

"Yes, but lubing the _nuts_?"

Jeremy sniffed. "At least I didn't say anything about filling you up with special fluids."

James' smile gave way to a genuine cackle, the one where he sounded a bit like a donkey, the one where the corners of his eyes crinkled up. Jeremy kissed his laughing mouth, kissed him until he moaned and parted his lips and let Jeremy taste him. There was the sweet/bitter taste of beer there, a hint of salt from the bar snacks. The taste of it felt like homecoming.

Eventually the two of them ran out of breath, and James pulled away a little. "What now?" he asked slyly. "Did you have something in mind?"

Jeremy hesitated. "Well. No."

"Of course not," James said. "I don't know why I even asked." He hummed. "Then again, you did give me a bit of a roadmap."

"Did I?"

"Oh, yes. How did it start? Ah, I remember now. With a little bit of jacking things up."

"Jaaaaaames!" Jeremy was laughing, but he didn't object when James pushed him gently backwards towards the bed. Instead he pulled James down with him by his belt loops, urged him close until he leaned down and they could kiss once again, slow and indulgent. 

Jeremy thought he could have stayed there for a while, but James didn't let him get used to it. Instead he wormed one hand between them and fumbled Jeremy's trousers open. 

Jeremy knew he had to keep his voice down, but it was a struggle with James' hand on his cock. James seem to know it, too, judging by his smirk. 

"You'll have to let me know if you find my jacking technique satisfactory," he murmured. 

"I—" Jeremy wasn't sure he'd be able to say anything, much less make commentary on their activities. Still, perhaps his mouth would run on without him. "A little bit slap-dash, at the moment." Yes, that would do. 

"I'll show you slap-dash," James said. He tightened his grip and really went for it, hard and fast. Jeremy arched up off the bed; he probably would have shouted if it weren't for James' mouth on his, muffling the sound. As it was he clenched his hands on James' waist, pushing and pulling in a thoroughly uncoordinated attempt to do… something. Anything.

"James," he gasped. "Fuck, I— I want—"

"Mmm, I'm sure you do." James sounded smug, but he slid his hand out of Jeremy's trousers and shoved at his blazer. "Off."

The removal of their clothing was even more uncoordinated, especially since James refused to roll away. At last they were both naked – and then as Jeremy tried to slide his hands between them James _did_ roll away, reaching for his bag and digging through it. Jeremy admired his arse but didn't reach for it, his discipline rewarded when James came back with a condom and a good-sized bottle of lube.

Jeremy raised a wry eyebrow. "Did you come prepared for the apocalypse?"

"Thought you wanted a thorough lubing," James said, grinning. "But I could put it away and leave you to handle it yourself…"

"Don't you bloody dare." Jeremy pulled him close, this time getting a nice handful of that beautiful arse. James moaned at the contact, but he didn't let Jeremy distract him for long. Instead he slicked his fingers, set the lube aside, and curled his hand around Jeremy's cock once again.

It was different like this, less demanding and more teasing – especially since James spent more time with Jeremy's testicles than anything else, stroking them, giving one the faintest scratch with his fingernails and then drawing little circles with his thumb. Only to be expected, of course, but that didn't stop Jeremy from cursing under his breath and wiggling closer, trying to get just the right sort of pressure to push himself over the edge.

"Oh, no no no," James said slyly, breathing the words into Jeremy's ear. He slid his hand further into the vee of Jeremy's thighs, pressing behind his cock and balls into the place that made him shudder, further back until he could slip a fingertip inside him and tease even more. "You want me to go on ahead to the bit where I get you off, just like this. But I think I fancy a little detour to the fresh rubber instead."

His hands were too slick and so Jeremy helped him with the condom, trying not to moan at the feeling of James' cock in his hand. 

"Turn over," James said; Jeremy scrambled to obey. Then James' hands were on him, parting his legs, spreading him open, pushing in with no more prelude.

"Got to—" James paused, catching his breath. "Got to plug in. Fill you up."

" _Fuck._ " There was something excruciatingly erotic about the way James said 'plug,' the way his voice went low and rough. "Please," Jeremy said. His knees were trembling. He hoped they'd hold up.

James didn't reply, not in words, but he pulled back and pushed in again, fucking Jeremy slowly, carefully, as if he really were trying to put together something that required finesse. His hands held Jeremy's hips, tightly but not too tightly. 

"Christ," Jeremy said. "That's— so good."

"You… too," said James, pressing his mouth to Jeremy's shoulder as he groaned softly. "Couldn't think about anything else all afternoon. Touching you. Getting inside you. The way we fit together."

Jeremy shivered. "Yeah." 

"And once we fit," James breathed, "if I can find just the right button to press…" 

He shifted his angle and Jeremy's body went electric, shuddery, sweat prickling out over every inch of skin. "Fuck," Jeremy said. "Oh god, right there."

The metaphor went entirely out of Jeremy's mind as James fucked into him again, and again, driving him to the edge, pleasure burning through him. Jeremy rocked back into the movement, pulling James deeper with each thrust, until there was no more space between them, only heat and sweat and slick. James kept his deliberate pace even as he moaned, even as he dug his fingertips into Jeremy's skin. 

"Please," Jeremy said at last, "please, I— God, I need you, I need—"

"Yes," James said, almost as if he'd been waiting to hear it. "Yes, fuck," and he reached around to curl his fingers over Jeremy's cock. Jeremy bit down on his bottom lip and came with a desperate, stifled groan. 

A moment later he could feel James follow, juddering like a rough engine the way he always did when he lost control. Jeremy reached back a sweaty hand to James' leg and held onto him, trying to give him a grounding. James didn't say anything, just sucked in air as his shaking eased and then stopped. He leaned down and rested his forehead on Jeremy's back.

"Mmm," he said. 

Jeremy laughed. "Yeah."

"Could've done without the car metaphor, though."

"You were the one who kept it going!" Jeremy protested. He gave James a gentle shove backwards with his hips and James slipped out of him with a gasp. "All right?" Jeremy asked. He felt empty and aching in a familiar way, but it didn't last long before James' hands began massaging the small of his back. "Mmmm, yeah, that's the ticket."

"Not a parking ticket, one hopes."

"Depends on how long you plan on parking there," Jeremy said, and then, "Right, that's it. Imperial fiat, no more car metaphor."

James sniggered. "All right. But if you don't want to hear my thoughts about plugs, that's your own fault."

Jeremy considered just what James' thoughts on plugs might be. He wriggled around until he was on his back, pulling James' sweat-dappled body down until it was a pleasant, heavy weight. "Now, I didn't say that."

James laughed. "I thought that might be the case. And if you have it in while we're on set," he said, lowering his voice to a tantalizing rumble, "I think it might just bother you as much as you seem determined to bother me."


End file.
